I’m Sure There’s a Logical Explanation

  • When: 11/29/16
  • QIC: Abraham
  • The PAX: Plank. Hot Lips, Part-time, Abraham

Yes, the title of this backblast is pure sarcasm. And disdain. And condescension. And rude. And a whole lot of other stuff that YHC can’t say here because he just got on Cousin Eddie for using profanity on twitter and in backblasts, so he’s got to restrain himself. 4 PAX posted in the gloom at this morning. 4. Really? 4?
YHC was taking names. Where were you, Cable Guy, Pinto, Taz, Binary, Slab, Clone, et al? Did you get better this morning? Did you get pushed? Held accountable? Prayed for? Encouraged? Did you help a brother? (YHC fell prey to the pillows Monday morning, telling himself he needed one more recovery day from a recent stomach virus, so yesterday he was as guilty as all of you were this morning. But let’s not talk about my sins, okay? Let’s keep blasting you! It’s more fun.)
Tell YHC it wasn’t the rain. Or the gloom. Or the early hour. Or that you secretly hacked into YHC’s email account and discovered that he had asked his boys for Q ideas. You didn’t sleep in because you were afraid of what Splinter might suggest did you? (Actually, that might be a valid excuse.) F3 works, but only if you post on a regular basis. Okay, everybody needs a smartsack every now and then but not this much. So, either get out there and help your brothers and yourself or just go ahead and embrace the SadClown inside you. That fat ugly clown never really leaves us, does he? He’s always there tempting YHC and offering up all kinds of reasonable sounding rationalizations for taking yet another day off. Shut-up Clown!
By the way, you missed one heck of a workout this morning.

The Thang
Windmills X 15 4ct
Alternating toe-touch X 15 4ct
Humpys X 15 4ct
Butt kickers X 15 4ct

The Real Thang
Partner up. Partner 1 runs a lap around the parking lot while Partner 2 does as many reps as possible of the exercises below until Partner 1 returns. Then switch off, keeping count until completing:
500 SSH
400 Squats
300 Sit-ups
200 Merkins
100 Burpees
That’s a total of 1,500 reps of exercises and WE ARE SORE. But WE ARE BETTER. Those who didn’t post are neither.

YHC quoted the only verse underlined in the first Bible he was ever given. It’s 1 Peter 5:7, “Cast all your care on Him, for He cares for you.” That’s a good ‘un.

This workout was dreamt up by YHC’s offspring Chaser. And y’all thought you’d get off easy because it wasn’t a Splinter workout? Not so fast, my friend. Chaser just might be even meaner than his younger brother. This was one tough workout. It started getting bad midway through the situps. The merkins were merciless. And the burpees, well, we hate burpees. But those dadgum things do make you better. The laps around the parking lot added up to 2 miles so there was that too.
Don’t know what the deal is with this fartsacking epidemic but it needs to stop. You’re not going to get better and you’re cheating your brothers out of the push and accountability they need from you when you don’t post. So post.
Simple as that.
Full amnesty for any and all PAX who return to Star. No teasing, no smart remarks, just a warm and sincere welcome back. We need you and, truth be told, you need us.

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