It’s a Festivus Miracle

  • When: 12/23/16
  • QIC: Chaser
  • The PAX: Chaser, Abraham, HBC, Kapowski, Beaker, Patty Mayo, Cousin Eddie, Billy Jean, B String, Markup, Udder Butter, Bing, Cropduster, Humpy, Igloo, Publix, Flamer, Suppository, Jordache, Plank

Did anyone else know that today is Festivus?  That’s right.  It’s the celebration around an unadorned aluminum Festivus pole where people air their grievances and do feats of strength.  Well guess what we did today fellas?

We started around a shovel flag (pretty close to an aluminum pole), did feats of strength while just about everyone aired their grievances at Eddie and the Guest Q.  I can’t think of a more Festivus’ish workout than what we did.

Let’s flashback a bit to yesterday:

Tooth Fairy (zips up Smedium as office temp drops to below 75) – I have a case of the vaginosous, can someone fill in for me?

Cousin Eddie – (puts down lunch beer) I’ll be your huckleberry

Cousin Eddie to Abraham – hey I need this workout to suck real good.  Got any ideas?

Abraham – (puts down barbed wire snack) I’ll see your good suck and raise you one.  Why not let Chaser take the Q?

Cousin Eddie – (puts away dickie for another time) Well, I’m sure that he’ll make it pretty miserable so why not?

Cousin Eddie to Chaser – You wanna Q?

Chaser (puts down Reynolds Snack*) – Does the Pope wear a funny hat?

Cousin Eddie sends out the Tweeter with fair, but subtle, warning that you need to post and that is going to….you guessed it….suck real good and you’ll like it.

And now you know the rest of the story.

Feats of Strength:

50 burpees.  Many grievances aired during this “warmup”.

Run down Stasavich Pl to corner, take a left, stop at small hill.  Total run = about 500 yards.

Partner up for Dora (300 merkins, 200 squats, 100 burpees) P1 runs up hill and back.  P2 does work.  Switch until all reps completed.

Before we started, some weird stuff happened. As this was being called out, 2 Pax quietly slipped off into the gloom.  They were mostly unnoticed, save for one Pax who saw the mini-mutiny and thought that it looked like a good idea and took off after them.  I’m not sure if there’s anything in the lexicon about this.  If there isn’t there should be.  If you are the Q and anyone just says “F it”, that’s better than a merlot splash.  We’ll just consider that their way of airing their grievances with the Q.  Here’s mine:  do what the Q asked you.  But Ed, isn’t Friday is supposed to be mainly running w/ stops for pain stations?  Well sirs, run w/ pain stations is exactly what we did.  Shoot, in the end we ended up somewhere around 3 miles and there were definitely pain stations.  Modify if you have to.  Ok, my grievances are aired….well at least that one.

Q calls audible for “just” 50 burpees.  See, each Reynolds has their own special way of showing us love from time to time.  Just don’t tell his momma or she might deny him dinner.

Run around campus, ended up across from track.  Lunge walk x20 OYO, plank for the Eddie.  I mean for the six.

Run to parking lot for Dora, Part Dos:  300 LBCs, 200 Flutterkicks (knee bends not allowed), 100 Big Boys.  P1 runs around parking lot island.  P2 works.  Flippy Flop.

Time called.

WOD – Isaiah 49: 1-7, The Second Servant Song

*Reynolds Snack – box of rusty nails w/ a dash of Cayenne


You know the great thing about F3?  We can air grievances w/ each other, we can disagree, we can think that someone is a complete bag of hot air (I’m talking to myself here), but in the end we’re all brothers in the gloom.  You know what brothers do to show love and respect for one another?  They make fun of each other.  I say that so that the three mutineers know that you are going to be catching a rash of sh*t for what yall did this am.  Whether you think it’s deserved or not (and you deserve it, trust me), you need to be ready for it.  Just take your lumps like we’ve all had to do for doing something unscripted.  Just like every time I pass a trash can, someone still tells me to watch out for it.  Now is not the time to be thin-skinned, right?  So Happy Festivus to all!

Ed – on behalf of Chaser – out!

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