ER is still the miserablest

  • When: 082817
  • QIC: Cousin Eddie
  • The PAX: Fuse, Beaker, Sleeper, Igloo, Rooster, Retread, Banjo, Root, Billy Jean, Cousin Eddie

Thang?  Read here:

I honestly thought that w/ the reduced amount of reps per lap, there would be at least someone that would be able to get close to finishing 10 laps.  Fake news.  Results as follows:

Rooster: 4

Beaker:  6

Root:  5

Cousin Eddie:  6

Fuse: 7

Banjo:  6.5

Igloo:  5

Sleeper: 5.5

Retread: 7

Billy Jean:  6

Good work men.  We proved that even w/ less reps, the Concrete Beast still offers the toughest workout in the HKY.

Dear Diary:

14 ‘regulars’ got called out in my preblast.  Only 5 of those showed up and one of those was me.  Question:  can I actually call myself out?  Answer:  You damn skip I can.

Regarding said odds:

Beaker:  nailed it.

Banjo:  nailed it.  Even witnessed some Perfect Form Merkins as he was smoking me….or did he see me coming and only do 3 PFMs?  Only Banjo knows.

Fuse:  underestimated this guy.  Actually, I didn’t.  His 45% chance was purposefully low to add some fuel to his fire to win ER.

Retread:  nailed it.  The part about being late at least.

CE:  Off like a prom dress for me.  But then again, it would have been boring to put me at a 20% or something like that.  I can’t not be cocky in my own pre-blast.

Igloo:  dude cut a turd in his pants so bad that it happened in the first stairwell of the first lap and was still detectible on the last lap.  Not fake news.  His pantaloons should be sent in to CDC and tested for alien residue.  It was so thick, that breathing in that stairwell felt you were gulping a sewer line w/ each breath.  Please save some of that for Howitzer tomorrow.

Rooster:  you continue to improve.  Keep it up.  I noticed you left your hat in the whip today.  Well played.

Root:  Saw the Root on Saturday am gulping down a BEC from Homer’s while staring at a gaggle of college aged/scantily clad runners on 127.  What’s this have to do w/ today’s ER?  Absolutely nothing.  Hey Ed, how do you know what he was staring at?  It’s possible that Ed was staring at the same thing.  WHOA Momma!

Sleeper:  I think he actually passed me, but is too nice to admit that he ran more laps that I did.  You sir are a gentlemen.

Billy Jean:  Dude said – as he flew past me – that this was his first ER experience.  I’m always glad to pop someone’s cherry at this AO.  Still my favorite place to sweat w/ a great group of men.

For the shaming.   You can figure out who you are:

  • one dude had a baby bjorn on all weekend and a diaper bag in the other.  Excuse: not valid
  • next dude played “real football” on sunday night.  Do I even need to bother w/ a sarcastic reply?  Excuse:  not valid
  • this guy “fractured his ankle” on Saturday.  That’s also known as “I need a good excuse so I don’t get smoked by C Ed”.  Same dude also obsessed about his weight and thinks it’s time for a new diet.  May I suggest a good week of binge and purge?  Excuse:  not valid
  • next dude was too busy preparing to teach my daughter’s class.  Excuse: Validated*

* in exchange for validation, said daughter needs straight A’s please.  Thanks.

  • this dude couldn’t find his Smediums or anything that was short enough to accentuate his inner thighs.  Excuse?  XXX
  • another dude is in Moosejaw, Canada or something.  Excuse:  Denied
  • other guy said he found a good Stilton in the pantry from his trip to France last year and ate the whole wheel while watching This Old House. Excuse Denied
  • this cat says he busted his knee.  No comedy there.  Excuse Granted.
  • one dude is a Dr.  If confronted, he’ll probably say something about being on call, yada, yada.  I’m 1000% sure that that’s the first thing taught in med school.  “Just tell ’em you’re on call.  Works 100% of the time 60% of the time” or something like that.
  • this guy posted at OG b/c he read my pre-blast and I mentioned something about the Best AO in HKY.  Excuse: Allowed

Ed Out.


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