Putting the Whip in Whippin’ Stick

  • When: 09/15/18
  • QIC: Cousin Eddie
  • The PAX: Publix, Beaker, Tooth Fairy, Flamer, Cousin Eddie, Doughboy, Igloo

?  Yeah, this thing that we have on Saturdays.  Clearly it’s not for everyone.  Here are our current, very exclusive demographics:

  • 18-62 year olds only
  • dudes in the range of 60″ – 78″ tall
  • dudes that either do or don’t wear lots of layers when it’s cold
  • dudes that either do or don’t wear gloves during a workout
  • dudes that enjoy a great sunrise during a workout during which someone inevitably will quote Abe and say “look at the Big Man showing off for us”
  • dudes that like post-workout Bacon, Egg, and Cheese sammys from Homers
  • dudes that, when we go to Granny’s instead, either order corned beef hash that closely resembles Alpo or don’t
  • dudes that enjoy world class mumblechatter
  • dudes that typically only do a max of 2 burpees at a time or don’t
  • dudes that can perform a range of 0.5 – 20 pull ups at a clip
  • just plain ole Dudes that aren’t scared in having a good time and breaking a sweat

Weather:  slightly breezy.  Perhaps due to impending arrival of hurricane Florence

Thang: Warmups – SSH, Jane Fondas, Hillbillies, Old Man Windmills, Humptys

Mosey to foosball field:  1000 yard sprint.  Original goal was to complete 10 sprints in under 3 minutes.  This is the time that LR’s lacrosse players have to complete.  Good news:  TF was first across the line in around 4:15.  YHC and Publix brought in the rear (TWSS) in about 4:30.   Bad news:  We’re all cut from the LR lax team…didn’t even get to show off my long stick skills (TWSS).

Mosey to stairs:  10 merkins at each landing, 30 squats at the bottom.  Rinse and repeat.

Backwards bear crawl (backwards bear crawl is not a crab walk, Flamer but thanks for trying) up hill next stairs.  Stop at each flat landing for 15 LBCs.  Keep going to the top.  Those with shoulder issues just kinda make it look like you’re doing something.  Ok, go!

Mosey to allow CEd time to think of next exercise.  Mosey to the corner of 4 way stop and start Indian Run to massive apartment complex that was once the World’s Slowest Grading Project.  YHC had thought that there would be some fun stuff there….giant pipes, bricks, etc.  Unfortunately due to the fact that it’s darker longer and your boy couldn’t see squat, we just ran some exterior stairwells and bolted to New Hope church.  We ran into Crop and Dilbert getting swole.  And by swole, I mean they were sitting on the curb as we ran by.  YHC is cursed.  The gods of pull ups simply passed me by and left me with the ability to complete exactly 0.1 pull ups per day.  Not sure why, but screw them and their upiddy ways.  The call was to partner up and do a whopping 4 total pull ups.  4!  Couple of dudes showed off by doing 4 each….I got in about 2.5 before completion.  Whatever man don’t sweat me, this is a No Judgement Zone.

Mosey to small hill behind the No Judgment Zone.  Next up, let’s do reverse lunges up the hill.  Tricep dips at the picnic tables.

The next move was a slight to heavy fumble.  Heading back to re-start the mosey, we stopped by the door of the gym where Crop and Dilbert to show them our best Monkey Humper form.  Knocked on the door to get them out and we commenced to doing our MHs.  Got through with about 10 or so and I was too focused on counting in  cadence to wonder why Crop and Dilbert weren’t just falling over themselves in laughter.  There’s a reason why, it’s because they weren’t there.  It was some random dude.  Oops.  He didn’t think it was the funniest move ever.  At least Flamer knows him…apparently has a nickname too.  Pleasuredome.  Hey PD, great name.  Try laughing every now and then, it’s good for the face.

Long mosey with a short stop for Pickle Pounders.  Went the back way to the bottom of Rooster Hill.  There is a large collection of medium sized rocks there.  The next exercise is to run back to Northview with your rock and do 25 curls/25 overhead presses as you run.  I think that roughly 40% of the pax did this.  Looked back at one point and saw Beaker carrying his like a book and chatting w/ TF who was also doing the same thing.  By the time everyone got back, there were only 5 rocks.  Not sure what happened to the other 2.  We still had 3 minutes left.  10 burpees if you don’t have a rock, if you do: American Hammers in cadence.  Then finished w/ box cutters and freddie mercury.

Fun times out there.  Everyone ‘cept one went to Grannys for more good times.  Yall come back now, ya hear?


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